You’re Not Doing It Wrong: You’re Doing It Here

In some cultures, new mothers are tucked into warm beds with hot soup, surrounded by aunties who massage their feet and tell them how sacred they are.

In others—like ours—you get sent home from the hospital with a newborn, a squirt bottle, and the vague instruction to “enjoy every moment.”

No wonder so many mothers wonder if they’re doing it wrong.
Spoiler: you’re not. You’re doing it here.

And “here” doesn’t make it easy. The pressure to be selfless but also put together, to give everything while pretending you’re fine—it’s enough to fry any nervous system. Add sleep deprivation, hormonal shifts, and the tender process of becoming someone new, and of course we’re overwhelmed. Of course we’re disoriented. Of course we question ourselves.

When I was first learning about yoga and Indian culture after my fourth, I was surprised to learn that in many parts of India, new mothers are expected to rest for 40 days after giving birth. They’re cared for by family, fed warm healing foods, and often don’t lift a finger—not because they’re fragile, but because they’re honored. The culture treats postpartum as a sacred time of rebuilding, not bouncing back.

And get this: in traditional Indian systems like Ayurveda, the postpartum body is seen as wide open—physically, emotionally, even spiritually. Warmth, softness, and deep care are prescribed to help the mother recover her strength and reweave her identity. It made me realize how little support most of us get in the West—and how upside-down that feels once you see another way.

It’s Not Just You. It’s the Water We’re Swimming In.

Motherhood is intensely personal—but it’s also deeply cultural. What’s expected of you, what’s offered to you, how you’re seen (or not seen)—that’s shaped by the systems around us.

That’s why individual healing isn’t enough. We need spaces that remind us we’re not alone. We need places to feel seen, to be real, to unravel the myth that we’re supposed to know how to do all this perfectly.

A Place to Land

The Nuance of Motherhood is a small process group I lead for moms who are walking this road and wondering, Is it just me?
(Nope. Never was.)

In the group, we explore the body’s role in motherhood—how it holds the stories, the stress, the intuition—and how we can come back to ourselves through it. We talk about the real stuff: identity, anger, joy, confusion, shame, longing. We move from isolation to connection, from survival mode to something more honest and grounded.

Because motherhood is not meant to be figured out alone.
And you don’t have to.

Want to know more about Ayurveda and the natural rhythms of healing?
Check out Whole Systems Healthcare, where Dr. Shannon Curtis and Dr. Donald Spear help make the wisdom of natural medicine accessible, grounded, and life-giving.