💥 You’re Not Crazy. Your Nervous System Is Trying to Protect You.(Healing from Toxic Relationships, Part 1)

Toxic relationships rewire your nervous system to expect danger—even when it’s not there. Learn why your body’s responses aren’t crazy—they’re wise—and how healing really begins.

Ever flinched at a text tone? Held your breath during a simple conversation? Or felt like a door slam sent you into orbit?
You’re not broken.
You’re not too much.
You’re not crazy.

You’re remembering.
And your body is doing its brilliant best to keep you safe.

🧠 Your Nervous System Isn’t a Drama Queen—It’s a Smoke Alarm

Just this week I felt totally hijacked by something that, to anyone else, looked completely normal.

Like the time my card wouldn’t go through at the grocery store. The beep wasn’t even loud, but my face flushed, my stomach dropped, and suddenly I felt like I needed to apologize to everyone in the store. My body reacted as if I had done something deeply wrong—fast, without asking permission.

Or when a door slammed in my house, and before I could think, my whole body froze. Shoulders tight, breath gone, brain scanning for danger. So quickly searching for what I did wrong. It didn’t matter that I was safe. My nervous system had already taken me somewhere else—somewhere less safe, much earlier in my story.

And the classic one: the texting spiral. I’m texting a friend…bubble appears… then disappears. And just like that, my chest tightens, and I realize I’ve been holding my breath for way too long.
Nothing happened. But my body braced for everything.

These are the moments I realize: I’m not overreacting. I am remembering.
And my body? It was doing its absolute best to protect me.

🌱 What Healing Actually Looks Like

In Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, we slow things down.
We stop asking, “What’s wrong with me?” and start asking,
“What is my body trying to tell me?”

Sometimes the body says: “We need to hide.”
Sometimes it says: “We’re bracing for impact.”
And sometimes it’s whispering: “Please, please don’t leave me again.”

These messages are ancient. They were built from your earliest relationships—maybe even long before the one you just left.
But the beautiful thing is: your body can learn something new.

Try this:

Orienting Practice (a mini nervous system reset)

• Look around the room slowly.

• Let your eyes land on 3 things that feel pleasant, neutral, or safe.

• Name them out loud or silently: “Green plant. Soft couch. Light through the window.”

• Let your body take that in. No rush.

This isn’t about pretending everything is fine. It’s about reminding your nervous system that right now—in this moment—you’re safe enough to soften.

Healing is slow. And sacred.

You don’t have to “fix” yourself.
You don’t have to become perfectly calm, unbothered, or high-vibe 100% of the time.
You just need to start noticing—with compassion—how brilliantly your body has been working to keep you alive.

And maybe… start wondering what it would be like to feel truly safe again. Not in someone else’s arms—but in your own skin.

In therapy, this is where we begin.
We get curious about your nervous system responses.
We make sense of them together.
We befriend the protectors who show up (even the ones who yell or shut down), and we gently learn to reparent the younger parts who are still trying to keep you safe the only way they know how.

From that place, a new way of relating becomes possible—one that feels grounded, empowered, and truly yours.

Coming up next:
In Part 2, we’ll explore why boundaries feel terrifying after a toxic relationship—and how to begin setting them anyway, with love and power.

Ready to take the next step?
I work with women who are ready to stop shrinking, start listening to their inner wisdom, and build trust with their bodies and relationships again.
👉 Reach out here to work with me.