Untangling Codependency: How Therapy Helps You Reclaim Yourself and Your Relationships

Sep 30

If you’ve ever found yourself taking care of everyone else while quietly falling apart inside, or feeling responsible for your partner’s moods, you’re not alone. Many of us grew up learning that love meant self-sacrifice — that being “good” meant putting others first, even when it cost us our peace. But when our worth becomes tied to how well we take care of others, we lose touch with who we are. This is the heart of codependency.

What Is Codependency?

Codependency often shows up as a deep fear of disappointing others or being abandoned. It can look like:

Over-functioning in relationships — doing more than your share to keep the peace
Difficulty saying “no” or setting boundaries
Feeling guilty for prioritizing your needs
Taking responsibility for other people’s emotions
Confusing love with caretaking

These patterns often start early, especially if you grew up in a family system where love was conditional or where you had to stay small, helpful, or pleasing to feel safe. Over time, those adaptations become your default way of relating — even when they leave you feeling unseen, resentful, or burned out.

The Cost of Codependency

Living in codependent patterns can leave you stuck in one-sided relationships or repeating cycles of conflict and disconnection. You might feel like you’re “too much” or “not enough,” or that no matter what you do, things never really change. Because your attention is so focused on others, it can be hard to even know what you want or need.

How Therapy Helps You Break Free

Therapy can help you begin to turn inward and reconnect with yourself. Through a supportive, body-centered approach, you’ll start to recognize where these patterns come from — and how they show up in your life today.

In therapy, we might explore:

Boundaries: Learning to say no without guilt, and to let others handle their own emotions
Self-worth: Reclaiming your value apart from what you give or do for others
Emotional regulation: Noticing what happens in your body when you feel responsible for someone else’s pain
Relational empowerment: Building the capacity to stay connected while standing in your truth

Healing from codependency isn’t about becoming selfish — it’s about becoming whole. When you learn to stay connected to yourself, you create relationships built on mutual respect, honesty, and care.

The Shift: From Pleasing to Presence

One of the most beautiful outcomes of this work is realizing that love doesn’t have to mean losing yourself. You can be deeply connected and grounded in who you are. You can care for others without abandoning yourself.

Through therapy, you learn to replace people-pleasing with presence — to show up authentically, speak your truth, and let real intimacy take root.

Taking the First Step Toward Freedom

Many of us discover these patterns through our upbringing, including growing up in strict or religious environments where love and approval were earned by pleasing others or staying small. Untangling those lessons can be challenging — but it’s also deeply freeing.

If this feels familiar, I’m leading a group starting soon that focuses on healing from codependent patterns shaped by religious or rigid upbringing. Together, we’ll explore how to reclaim your voice, set boundaries, and cultivate authentic connection — both with yourself and others.

Sarah Clark